Discernment Counseling for Couples on the Brink

A short-term, structured process to help you decide — with clarity and confidence — whether to stay, separate, or begin couples therapy.

When You’re Not on the Same Page

Not every couple enters therapy with the same goal. One partner might feel ready to leave. The other may be desperate to make it work. You’re not sure if it makes sense to start full couples therapy — or if it’s already too late.


This is where discernment counseling can help.

You might be:

Feeling unsure whether you want to stay in the relationship

Wanting to separate, but unsure how or when

Feeling pressured into couples therapy without clarity

Worried about making a rushed or emotional decision

Hoping to explore your options in a thoughtful, respectful way

Discernment counseling is designed specifically for couples in this space of uncertainty.

What Discernment Counseling Offers

This is not couples therapy. It’s a structured, short-term process that helps both partners get clarity about what they truly want — without rushing into repair or separation.

In 1–5 sessions, you’ll each have the opportunity to:

  • Explore how the relationship got to this point
  • Reflect on your contributions and possible paths forward
  • Understand each other’s perspective without trying to “fix” anything
  • Decide whether to pursue separation, maintain the status quo, or begin couples counseling with a shared commitment

Whatever the outcome, the goal is clarity, honesty, and respect.

My Role as a Discernment Counselor

I’m not here to convince you to stay or to split. I’m here to guide a structured, respectful process that helps you make the best decision for both of you — with intention.

In our work together:

  • I meet each partner where they are, without pressure or blame


  • You’ll each have individual time with me as well as time together


  • We’ll slow things down so decisions aren’t made in the heat of conflict


  • The process is limited (usually 1 to 5 sessions)


  • If you choose to stay together, we can move into couples therapy with a clear foundation


This isn’t about quick fixes — it’s about thoughtful next steps.

“When you're not sure which direction to take, sometimes the most important step is pressing pause — and listening deeply.”

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What Clients Say

“Before working with Irene, I didn’t even realize how anxious I was all the time. She helped me slow down, breathe, and feel like I wasn’t broken — just burnt out.”

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What Clients Say

“I used to feel like my mind never shut off. Now I feel like I have actual tools that work. And I know I’m not alone.”

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What Clients Say

“Irene helped me realize I don’t have to say yes to everything. Learning to set boundaries changed everything.”

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What’s the difference between discernment counseling and couples therapy?

Couples therapy assumes both partners are committed to working on the relationship. Discernment counseling is for couples unsure if they want to stay together.

Q: How many sessions does it take?

Discernment counseling is typically 1–5 sessions. It’s a short-term process focused on decision-making, not relationship repair.

Q: What happens if we decide to separate?

You’ll do so with greater understanding and less regret. I can also help refer you to resources for navigating the separation process.

Q: What if we decide to stay together?

Great. We can transition into couples therapy with clear goals and mutual commitment — or I can help you find a therapist best suited to your next steps.

Q: Do you offer this online?

Yes. I offer discernment counseling both in-person at my Newport Beach office and online throughout California.

Schedule a Free Consultation

If you and your partner are stuck in indecision, discernment counseling offers a path forward — no pressure, just clarity. Let’s talk about what’s next.

In-Person in Newport Beach

Online for California residents

Free 15-minute phone consultations available

Maria Irene Alvarez de Schwartz, LMFT 155789

(949) 385-3689

Newport Beach Office

1000 Quail St., Suite 220

Laguna Beach Office

333 3rd St #6

Online Therapy

California Residents Only


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